Saturday, December 8, 2007

The First Year is the Hardest

All marriage counselors, psychiatrists, psychotherapists and pastors say the first year of marriage is the toughest. I set out to prove them wrong. Alas, they were right.

When I married the man of my dreams he came as the full meal deal. He had a house, two kids, two cars, a motorcycle, a dog and a cat. Boy! Was I close to heaven! The kids weren't the problem even though you might think so. I was in love with them as much as I was in love with their father. My step kids could do no wrong in my eyes.

The hardest part of the first year was trying to find my place in this instant family. Was I another Mom to the kids? Did my opinion count with the kids and how my marriage would go?

In this process I learned you have to pick your battles. What is important and what is not?

When step kids are young they don't know about drawing a line between houses. In their eyes their bedroom at Mom's house is the same as their bedroom at Dad's house. So some of what used to be at their Mom's house migrated over to ours and some of ours moved the other direction. This is okay. Kids feel more secure in both places and like they belong. Don't stress over this kind of behavior. It's okay to let it happen.

My problem was I never got jealous over a boyfriend meeting a new girl. I got jealous if they never let the old girls out of their lives. With this issue in my life having the ex-wife around was definitely a challenge. As the years have gone by I've been able to change myself and can talk to the ex without any problems. I've learned to accept the fact that she is here to stay and my husband wants absolutely nothing to do with her.

During the first year I didn't think I was going to make it. In fact one time there was such a big blow up I left and went for a looong drive. I drove all around the South Bay area of California. I drove from Paradise Hills to Imperial Beach. Up the Silver Strand through Coronado. Across the Coronado bridge through downtown San Diego. Finally I got on Highway 92 East to 805 south then back to Paradise Valley Road and home.

While on the one hour long drive I spoke with God. We talked a lot. I talked. He answered. And the conclusion was this was the man the Lord had picked out for me since before I was born. The Lord said He would instruct me and teach me in the way I would go. He would guide me with His eyes if I would let Him. I chose to let the Lord lead me and now 24 years later we are still on our honeymoon. Hubba! Hubba!

Hind sight is always 20/20. There are things I would have changed over the years but it wouldn't have been finding another man. They say no one human being can satisfy another person more than 80%. Only God can satisfy 100%. Don't you think it is foolish to go looking for the other 20%? You do the math. 80 is way better than 20. In fact it's 4 times better.

Stick it out people! After you make it through that first year anything can happen. You will be so blessed for doing it. If you need help or prayer as you go through, talk to someone who has been there. Leave me a message on this blog and I will help you out. Or at least I can pray with you and for you.

God bless you,
Michelle Rothwell, Founder
Dora & Diego Homeschoolspanish
and
Isagenix Independent Distributor

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

The Church Parking Lot

Going way back in time, I mean almost dinosaur time, Kurt and I met in our church parking lot. This was back in December 1981.

You've got to remember America went from the Disco Age to the Punk Rock/New Wave Age. Picture a three piece, navy blue, pin stripped suit on a guy that still had his seventies side burns and wavy slicked back hair. Okay, so that wasn't what intrigued me.

At the time our church had two services back to back. I went to the early service and on the way out I discovered I had locked my keys in my truck. A 1972 Chevy Luv truck. Nothing to brag about but it got me around.

My friends and I tried to unlock the truck with a coat hanger. You know like they show you on t.v.?

Well Kurt comes up, sees what we are doing. He says, "Mind if I give it a try? This used to be one of my professions."

"Sure", I said, thinking this guy looks like he came from The Godfather movie.

I handed him the coat hanger and voila! Two seconds later I was able to get into my truck. (How'd he do that?) Kurt hands me the coat hanger and away he goes into church for second service.

Who was that unknown Knight in Shining Armour? Luckily my friends knew him and introduced us later that night at church.

As one would say, and now for the rest of the story.

Ever since that fateful day, Kurt has been coming to my rescue. If anyone dares to tell me chivalry is dead, I will quickly correct them.

God bless you,
Michelle Rothwell, Founder
Dora & Diego Homeschoolspanish
and
Isagenix Independent Distributor

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Bailey is Here!


Our Granddaughter finally made her appearance on Friday, November 2, 2007. She was born naturally, Praise the Lord no petosin, at 5:15 am PST.

Bailey Marie McCowan weighed in at 7 lbs 6 oz with tons of dark brown hair; her brother is blond.

Our oldest daughter, Brianna, is the happy Momma. The one thing she kept saying was how easy this birth was compared to the last one.

Oh! And yes Bailey's Daddy was present too. I guess he helped. LOL. When I talked to Brian on the phone yesterday I told him to have Brianna call me with all the details. He then proceeded to tell me they pulled into the hospital parking lot at approximately 12:01 am. They parked in the first stall up by the door. Brianna got out on the passengers side by opening the door.... Of course I didn't mean those details. Brian is the perfect Son in Law because his sense of humor is just as warped as the rest of us.

From the looks of the first pictures the whole family is doing well. Hopefully they can go home today so Bryce won't be so lonely without his Momma.